In Which I Explain How to Make Kick-Ass Felafel

Alright, here’s my tried and true recipe for Kick-Ass Felafel. First, buy some canned garbanzo beans (chickpeas for those of you not in the northwest united states.) CANNED people. I’m sure there are some of you out there who are thinking, look, I know how to cook garbanzo beans from dry to perfectly cooked on my stove. I don’t need canned. Well, to you I say: CANNED. We’re clear on that now, right?

Okey-dokely, now that you’ve got your two cans of CANNED garbanzo beans, empty them out into a colander in the sink. Rinse them (and recycle the cans, really, it’s for the Earth. And your conscience.) Once rinsed put them in a big bowl. Then get out your biggest, baddest, hand held potato masher and get to mashing. Mash them hard. Remember that the beans have a tough, fibrous outer skin. The purpose of the mashing is to explode the soft inner bean out of the tough outer skin.

Now that you’ve mashed for a few minutes (and maybe your arms hurt a little, depending on your arm strength and extreme knitting regimen,) get out your favorite food processing gadget. Me? I have a little tiny cuisinart with a sissy blade. But it works. Put the beans in the food processing gadget and process the shit out of them. Return them to bowl. Alright. Now we’re going to add a few things to the mix. First is the scallions/green onions/spring onions (whichever) that you have pre-chopped into little pieces. What? You missed that part? Okay, go back to the beginning and Chop your onion of choice. And while your at it, de-skin about six healthy cloves of garlic. That’s right. SIX HEALTHY CLOVES. We like our garlic around here at chez Burns, and soon, you will too. Alrighty then. Now, you’re going to add the green onions and the beans and the garlic back into the food processing gadget. Then add some oil. The kind of oil doesn’t really matter, other than it should be something either unflavored (like vegetable oil) or subtly flavored (like virgin or extra virgin olive oil.) How much? Well I would say about three or four dollops for the whole thing. If your food processing gadget won’t hold the whole mess at the same time, then I recommend a dollop per batch. The whole point here is to add just enough lubrication so that the felafel mix will turn into something more akin to pesto than to bread crumb mix. Okay, now process the shit out of the whole thing again. Lastly, add the spices: a healthy dose of cumin, a little bit of turmeric (mainly for color), a healthy dose of cayenne and kosher salt.

Look at your mix. Is it just this side of pesto-texture? Or is it still bread crumby? If it’s just this side of pesto texture, then you’re good. If it’s bread crumby, you need more oil. If it’s sloppy, gooey and pasty, then you need some flour, stat!

Okay, now that your mix is the right texture, it’s time to make a decision. Many recipes, at this point, would instruct you to stick the mixture in the fridge for upwards of an hour to give it a chance to cool and become less sticky. DON’T DO THAT. THAT IS DUMBASS. Now that you’ve made that very difficult decision (congratulations!) it’s time to make the felafel patties. Flour up your hands real good (the mix is sticky!) and make little patties, using up all of the mix. Personally, I make flat patties, about the size of my palm. By the way, you will need to reflour your hands frequently.

Once the patties are made then you fill your 12" cast iron frying pan with enough oil (I use peanut oil) to almost cover the patties, and turn the stove up to about medium-high. The goal here is to get the oil to about 365 degrees. This will require two things: first, patience, it takes a little while before the oil will reach that temperature, and second, a deep fry or candy thermometer. Or you can do like I do, and watch the oil until it looks hot enough, and throw a couple little drops of flour into the oil. If the flour sizzles, the oil is ready.

When the oil is ready you deep fry the felafel until they’re golden brown and delicious. Serve with pita and tzatziki. Or hummus. Or babaganouj. Or just eat them all by themselves.

 

Squares for Grace (and Lawn Maintenance)

So these are my squares for Warming Grace. They’re all a little wonky and curly right now. But it’s pre-blocking. It will block out. I’m sure.

Speaking of blocking, I finally located and bought the yarn harlot’s new book, Knitting Rules, last week. I finished it over the weekend and I really liked it. It gave lots of good tips on simple projects, or more accurately, it simplified many different kinds of knitting projects, from hats to shawls. And it’s funny. What could be better?

There hasn’t been a lot of knitting around here the last couple of days. Mainly because instead me and stephen have been working in the yard. This is a new thing for us. We’ve owned our house for 2 ½ years now but up until this year we’ve pretty much let the lawn “go back to nature,” which, in Spokane, means “dry up and turn into a dust bowl.” I’m convinced the only reason we don’t need to resod already is because we have trees back and front that have provided enough shade to keep the grass from giving up completely. So. Yeah. Yard work. Sigh. Our neighbors must hate us.

Warming Grace

A week or two ago, I read about a project called "Warming Grace" over at Norma Knits. Cynthia of Two Wooden Sticks had the idea to knit a blanket for her niece, Grace, who is currently receiving treatment for cancer. So she put out a call for knitted squares. Now she has so many knitters interested that she has decided to piece together as many blankets as she can from the squares she receives and donate them to the Alberta Hospital pediatric oncology center.

When I first read about this project I felt compelled and scared at the same time. The cause was a good one, for sure, and Grace herself is the cutest little girl ever. I just didn’t know if I wanted to put myself out there like that. Agreeing to knit for someone else and having to conform to their time table. But, after going over to Cynthia’s blog and reading about the project I felt...I don’t know...compelled? Fired up? I’m not really sure how describe it but I felt like I had to do this. So I emailed Cynthia. And waited.

A couple days later (which felt like a really long time to me) she emailed me back and that same day I stopped off at the LYS and picked up a ball of Baby Ull in a medium pink (Grace’s favorite color) and a pair of size 3 straights. That night, I cast on. So far I’ve finished two squares (pitiful progress) and am more than halfway through with a third. My goal is to send off whatever I have finished this Friday, then more as I finish them. I’m still living with a certain amount of anxiety about all of this. Which seems silly to my logical brain, but perfectly reasonable to my emotional brain. Why all the anxiety? I’m afraid of being judged. What if my squares aren’t the right size? What if Cynthia (and of course I don’t know her at all, not even a little bit and so this is all about me) thinks my knitting is crap?

On the other side of the coin, as I’ve been knitting these squares I have this picture in my head of Grace (who I don’t know at all either, not even a little bit) looking at one of the squares that I knit and thinking that it’s pretty, or stroking it with her finger and liking the way the soft wool feels. These are the thoughts that motivate me to make more squares.

In spite of all my anxiety I feel empowered. It feels like a very powerful thing to effect someone else’s life in a positive way. And that’s as good a reason as any to get involved in any kind of compassionate volunteer work. So, if you feel so inclined, go over to Two Wooden Sticks and check out the Warming Grace guidelines, or check out any of the seemingly infinite numbers of worthwhile projects out there that need knitting or volunteers or money.

 

Why You Don’t Find More Three Year Olds Abandoned On The Side of the Highway

I hope you all enjoyed the beer blogging. I didn’t intend to leave it up for so long but we were away this weekend. We went to my brother and sister in law’s and attended our nephew’s third birthday. He is simply the cutest little boy ever. Which is why you wouldn’t find him abandoned on the side of the highway, no matter how infuriating his parents sometimes find him. I’m pretty sure that children are designed to be unbelievably cute just for that reason.

Anyway, a good time was had by all and Mr. Stegs was big hit with my sister in law. I’ve promised to make her one of her very own. It remains to be seen whether he will be a big hit with Donovan. What’s a stuffed toy as compared to an entire castle? Also, I totally kicked ass at the poker playing later in the evening.

So what have I been up to knitting wise? Well, I finished my branching out on the way back from Seattle.

Branching Out:
Pattern: Free from Knitty
Needles: Size 9
Yarn: southwest trading company bamboo yarn, 100% bamboo

I enjoyed making this project, although I was never able to completely memorize the lace pattern, which was frustrating. I liked the yarn too. It was less slippery than wool, but at the same time it felt like waxed dental floss in my hands. And it shines like silk. It also has a slight fuzz to it. A bit of a halo. It’s interesting, but the fuzziness makes me think that too many washings will make it disintegrate. Of course I could be wrong.

The pattern is really very cool. It makes two tiers of leaves on each side of a center line, all surrounded by lacy bits. Very, very cool.

Also, above, I have started making another of annie modesitt’s fiesta tea set. You can get the pattern free from interweave knits. It’s also very ingeniously put together. As you can see above, it starts out pretty floppy, but that is all fixed with a stern blocking and a healthy dose of starch.

 

 

 

 

The Beer Story or What Did You Do Last Sunaday (Part II)

As I have mentioned before, Stephen and I brew beer, hence “brewer burns,” the name of this blog. We brewed beer last Sunday and I wanted to share with you the story of our first brewing experience.

When we started dating, Stephen told me how he brewed his own beer, first, as an underage college student in Ashland, OR (you couldn’t buy beer but it was perfectly legal to buy homebrew supplies), and then as a graduate student in Fairbanks, AK. At this point in time I had graduated from law school and was studying for the bar exam. I would get up each morning at 6:00 a.m. and start studying (memorizing verbatim the contents of my BarBri outlines), continue until lunchtime when I would eat and shower, then continue until seven in the evening, usually throwing in some practice exams in the afternoon. Needless to say, I was not entirely mentally stable at the time.

Since I was really interested in the beer brewing thing (I also really like to bake bread from scratch) and I had no free time on my hands but was still completely crazy we decided that we should brew some beer. Stephen still owned all the equipment needed to do it (pretty much) so we went on the internet to find a suitable recipe for a pale ale (it being July and all.) We didn’t actually find a recipe that appealed to us but we did learn enough to create our own recipe. So that’s what we did. We named it 703 Sierra Juliet. Why? 7: July (the month we created the recipe), 03: 2003 (the year we created the recipe), Sierra: aviation code for “s” (Stephen), Juliet: aviation code for “j” (Jennifer.)

So, a week and a half before the bar exam started, we brewed the beer. Then, during the second day of the exam, while I was in a Bellevue hotel room trying to remember what my name was, Stephen bottled it. And it turned out fantastic. In spite of the fact that we made up the recipe, bottled it under subpar (at best) conditions (stephen did it alone while his tiny rental house was suffering from a spider infestation,) and I had never brewed before and it had been years since Stephen had, it is was still a wonderful pale ale with a flowery, crisp taste, that is ridiculously clear.

And on Sunday that’s what we brewed: 703 Sierra Juliet.

Now, there are lots of pictures above documenting the easter Sunday brewfest (did I mention that early 70’s music seems to go best with brewing? I recommend Bonnie Raitt, Give it Up and Van Morrison, Moondance) so I thought I would give a short explanation of what’s going on up there:

1. First you fill a very large (like 2.5 gallon) pot with water. Let it come to a boil (this takes about an hour.)

2. Add the malt (in our case this means a powdered, sugary substance)

3. Blow and stir the malty water like your life depends on it until the boil “breaks” and is no longer in danger of boiling over. The malt needs to boil for an hour in order to break down the sugars into yeast friendly bits.

4. Sooner or later, depending on your recipe, you add the hops (in a mesh bag.) Hops are what make beer beer. Without hops, you can definitely make alcohol in your kitchen, but you’re not making beer.

5. Forty five minutes into the boil you will add irish moss to the mesh bag as well. Why? Because it helps to clarify the beer.

6. When the wort (malty, sugary, hoppy water that you’ve been boiling) has boiled for an hour, you pull it off the stove. Then comes the fun part. You have to chill the wort down to about 90 degrees (depending on how much cold water you will be adding to it) from 212 degrees before adding the yeast or the yeast will die. Dead yeast=no alcohol. And you want to do that as quickly as possible to limit the amount of time that the wort is exposed to the possibility of (or rather, the grim certainty of) bacterial contamination. This is where the wort chiller comes in. The wort chiller is a device made of copper tubing which you stick in the hot wort and hook up to your sink faucet so that cold water can run through the coils and cool the wort. Neat, huh?

7. Once the wort is cool enough you siphon it into the carboy (that’s the glass jar thingy) and then roll it around on the floor a few times to oxygenate it.

8. Then you add cold water to fill up the carboy, mix it around a few more times.

9. Then add the yeast.

10. Then wrap the carboy in a towel (light will degrade the beer), stick the blow off tube in the top of the carboy, and stick the other end of the blow off tube in the blow off bucket (filled partially with water, keeps the aforementioned bacteria out while also guarding against the dreaded “wort explosion” that will occur if you don’t allow the wort to vent excess gasses as it ferments.)

Soon, there will be beer. Did

 

What Did You Do Last Sunday? (Part I)

I have to admit that I did dye some eggs. And I made some deviled eggs. As you can see in the above pictures. Unfortunately, Stephen really wasn’t willing to look for hidden eggs so I had to change my plans with regards to that. But it was fun dying them. And eating them.

Mr. Stegs
Pattern: free from X-Treme Knitting
Yarn: Lamb’s Pride Worsted in Ruby Red, and a very small amount of LP in roasted coffee, used to stitch on the mouth and eyes
Needles: Size 9

I also finished Mr. Stegs. This is my first knitted toy and I found that making him was really fun. First, the project flew by. I started him on Saturday and finished him on Sunday (and that was in spite of doing a lot of other things on Sunday. More on that in my next post.) It was also really easy and the pattern was well written. There was only one part of the pattern that made me scratch my head momentarily. When you knit the legs you first knit a garter stitch square six stitches wide and six rows long, then cast on ten stitches and work several rows in stockinette. While the instructions were crystal clear I couldn’t figure out how the garter stitch square was going to function in terms of making a leg. Then it dawned on me. This is a three dimensional object and it needs a bottom as well as a tube for the sides of the leg.

Anyway, I really recommend this pattern. Since this was a toy and gauge was not crucial, I didn’t check it. I also used completely different yarn and needles than the pattern recommends. And it turned out just fine. My favorite part of this pattern is the spiny back. It’s so cool!

Oh, and the picture of Leah above? She is begging me for Mr. Stegs as I sew him up. She dearly wanted to disembowel him. She’s a loving dog. Really.

Stay tuned for: What Did You Do Last Sunday? (Part II) (hint: it doesn’t involve yarn but does help to justify the name of this blog.)

Manly Redux

Since I’ve devoted five weeks of my life to knitting this sweater I figured it deserves a good and thorough write up.

Stats
Pattern: Manly Sweater from SnB
Yarn: Brown Sheep Company Lamb’s Pride Worsted in oatmeal, ruby red and roasted coffee
Needles: Size 8 straights and Size 7 circular for the neck band

Yarn: this is my first time working with LP and I loved it. The yarn is slippery, not scratchy, consistently spun and dyed. I only found one knot in one of the total of six balls I used in the project. The only negative thing I have to say about the yarn is the oatmeal colored yarn was noticeably thinner than the other colors, and there were a couple of places where there was a splotch of dark brown dye ruining the oatmeal-y goodness. I did not find this to be a big deal.

Pattern: Well, me and the pattern? We had our issues but managed to work them out by the end, as I discussed in a previous post. There is a mistake in the pattern as written for the 45” chest. Several, actually. Essentially you are not directed to decrease enough times (when you get to the neck and shoulder shaping) which results in two problems: 1) you are left with too many stitches to bind off at the shoulder seams and 2) the front of the sweater is not long enough. I solved both problems by following the neck and shoulder shaping instructions for the next size up. This resulted in a perfect front which matched the back perfectly, so I believe I did the right thing.

Is this a problem with the other sizes? I have no idea. I also wonder why I have found no other blog posts about this (of course I searched!) Maybe I’m just insane? That's always a possibility, but I checked and rechecked my gauge and it was right on. And the sweater matched the accompanying schematic perfectly as well.

Enjoyment of Pattern: Well, this is a monotonous knit because it’s 5x1 rib throughout but in a good way. I found that knitting this, with the exception of a couple frustrating moments, all involving the pattern mistakes, was supremely relaxing and enjoyable. Even the sewing up wasn’t bad. All in all this is a good pattern which many men (as evidenced by the number of Manly’s I found out there in blog land) are willing to wear. Plus the yarn is reasonably priced. What’s not to like?

Mr. Stegs (and some totally unnecessary yarn acquisitions)

Alright. I wrote a wonderful post that was supposed to go here that has since been lost in the black hole that is the interface between my laptop, FireFox, picasa and blogger. So here we go again.

My Knitpicks order arrived! I am now the proud owner of two hanks of "shimmer" in happy dance, which is a mix of red, pink and yellow, and one hank of alpaca cloud in tidewater. Both of these hanks are darker colors than I thought they would be, and I really didn't expect that much red in the shimmer, but I knew that I was taking that chance when I ordered them without getting a color card first. But I really like the colors, nonetheless. And I love the yarn! It is so amazingly buttery soft. It's wonderful.

Since I have now received the yarn I have decided three things: I'm going to order from Knitpicks a lot more, I'm going to spring for the faster shipping option occasionally (waiting for this order nearly killed me) and I did some research on the Flower Basket Shawl. Since everyone in blog land seems to have already made this shawl (pattern by Evelyn A. Clark and available from interweave knits as well as several other sources) I figured that I would be able to find the answers to a couple of questions. Specifically, I wanted to know what happened when people used one strand of yarn instead of holding two together throughout as the pattern instructs. I really don't want to hold two strands together because I think this is a recipe for treating both loops as single stitches instead of one (and for accidentally shoving the point of my needle through the yarn, splitting it.) Even though I spent a couple of hours researching this yesterday, I didn't really find the answers to my question, although some people out there have made the pattern using one strand of yarn. So, I've decided to forge ahead and make several swatches before starting: one holding two strands together and using the recommended needle size, one using one strand of yarn and the recommended needle, and one using one strand of yarn and a needle size a few sizes smaller than recommended. I will make one pattern motif with each, pin, and decide which I like best. If I don't like any of them I will do something different.

However, before I even start swatching for the shawl I first have to finish a few other projects. As you can see above I have started Mr. Stegs (free pattern from X-Treme Knitting) for my nephew, who turns three next week. I have decided that what he really needs is a stuffed dinosaur made from a non-machine washable wool/mohair blend (Lamb's Pride left over from Manly.) Yes, I like his mother and No, she may not like me very much after this gift. But what the hey?

I'm still working on my Branching Out, and still planning on making several pairs of baby socks, as well as a skinny chenille scarf for my six year old niece, Anna.

Stephen and I are home this weekend, I have recently learned that Patrick F. McManus (comedic writer) lives in Spokane, and my brother in law and his wife (parents of my nephew and Anna) have just bought a house in Atlanta. I'm going to miss them.

 

News of the Day

I spent a little time this morning on the internet reading the news of the day. I shouldn't have. The news of the day makes me want to have my uterus removed entirely.

DONE! DONE! DONE!

As of 10:00 p.m. last night Manly is DONE! I finished the seaming up and the weaving in of ends (as evidenced by the pile of yarn trimmings above) and then gave the sweater a gentle bath in some lukewarm water and Woolite. Now it's blocking. Since it's a man sized sweater made entirely of wool/mohair I expect it to take a couple of days to thoroughly dry. When it is dry I will post more pics of it with Stephen in it.

Stay tuned for: Hot Stephen in Hot Manly Sweater, more Branching Out and at least a couple more pairs of baby socks. Everyone I know is having babies these days. 

Why Beer and Seaming Do Not Mix

Sorry about the pictureless post but I'm writing this from my desk at work while I sit on hold waiting for some person to tell me why it's going to take them another week to do the thing they should have done over two years ago now. I love corporate incompetence.

Have I got a hilarious and sad story for you. But before I tell you that story I feel that you need to know that it was NOT MY FAULT. You see, when we went to see my sister last weekend she gave us her old fridge, which Stephen has since installed in the basement, next to the television, to be used a beer fridge. Last night we decided to sit downstairs, watch some South Park DVD's and drink some beer from the beer fridge. You understand, right? Seemed perfectly reasonable at the time. I clearly cannot be held responsible for my actions.

Anyway, you all will be happy to hear that I did sew in both sleeves on Monday night, and then last night I proceeded with seaming up the sides of Manly. I pinned the first side and seamed it up beautifully. Seriously, the best seaming I have ever done. Now we get to the funny part of the story. So I finish up one side, admire it, weave in some ends, then move on to the next side. I pin it. I start seaming. I sew together the sides of Manly until I'm down to about the halfway point between the armpit and the bottom of the sweater.

I notice that one side of the sweater seems to have decreases in it as I seam it down the side. Huh, I think. That doesn't seem right. Then I take a closer look at the seaming and I notice that it looks different at the top then the other side did. The other side was smooth and fantastic and perfect. This side looks a little wonky at the top. Like the very topmost part is jutting out in an odd way.

Then I hold the sweater out and really look at what I'm doing. Fuck.

I seamed one side of the sleeve to one side of the sweater.

Fuck. So I spent the rest of the evening unpicking my seam and finished just in time to go to bed so I can start all over again on that seam tonight.

Baby Crack

I'm back. I know it's been a few days. The reason for my long absence? I went to see my sister and my brand-new niece, Willow Hope. And boy. That girl is baby crack. Totally addictive. I held her for hours at a time and she hardly made a peep. And then, Sunday morning right before I was about to leave she did something even more amazing. She opened her eyes, looked at me, and smiled. She totally melted my heart.

But back to the knitting. Friday night I finished the last sleeve on Manly, then put it away for the weekend. On the way to my sister's house I started Branching Out in the Southwest Trading Company 100% bamboo yarn that I bought the last time I enriched my stash. As you can see in the picture above, it presently looks like lace crap, but I trust that the blocking will fix that(I really need some rust proof blocking pins.) The yarn itself is like nothing I've worked with before. It's slippery in a way that wool is not. It also has a slightly plastic-y feel, but it's not unpleasant. It's...different, I suppose. I've tried imagining myself making a larger project out of this (if I could afford it) and I honestly don't know if I would like it or not. A delicate lace shawl? I could totally see doing that in bamboo yarn (pending the outcome of the blocking on this scarf) but I don't know about a fitted garment. I would be afraid of it having no memory and not holding its shape. But of course, at this point, I'm just guessing.

Anyhoo, last night I was back to Manly. I knit the neckband and sewed up the shoulder seams. I wish my camera would take a better picture of the shoulder seams (or perhaps that I was more skilled with the camera) because I really wanted to show you the seam detail. I'm using what Debbie Stoller calls "fake grafting" in the Stitch N'Bitch book. Basically, you make it look like there is another row of knit stitches between the front and back seams by running the seaming yarn underneath one full stitch (both legs of the stitch) on the front of the sweater, then running the yarn underneath one full stitch on the back of the sweater, then continuing in this manner across, moving your stitching over one stitch with each successive stitch. If that last didn't make sense then buy the book. Ms. Stoller does a much better job of explaining it then I do.

Tonight I'm planning to sew in the sleeves. I honestly am not sure that I can sew in both sleeves in one night but I'm going to try. I'm just very slow when I seam things up because I want it to look right. I want the seaming of the project to do the knitting justice, you know? 

Spring

Knitting on Manly proceeds. As you can see above I've knit the first 11 inches of the second sleeve. You can also see my new favorite knitting tools. Removable stitch markers. In this case, I'm using them to mark the increase rows on the sleeve. This way, not only can I tell when I need to increase again (by counting the number of rows since the last marker) but I can also tell how many times I have increased (by counting the number of markers.) Genius I tell you. When I was knitting the Fair Isle 101 sweater I simply had to stop every few rows and count ALL OF THE ROWS to figure out if it was time to increase again and whether I had increased the proper number of times. No more. Now I have knitting tools to aid me.

Also, as you can see, spring has reached the inland northwest (somewhat of a contradiction in terms but that's where the nightly news tells me I am.) The middle picture is of my tulip buds coming up. Hardy plants I have to say. They live in spite of our complete neglect of them. And then below that is a craptastic picture of one of the many pink flower buds we have on our peach tree. You know. The one Kevin and Emily bought for us a couple of weeks ago. Pink flower buds! I'm so excited.

Lastly, I have a short story to tell. I would like to preface it by saying two things: 1. Marriage is Funny and 2. This story does not involve sexual gratification of any kind. Anyway, on Tuesday I got in the shower when we got home from the gym. When I got out of the shower I walked out into the living room to find Stephen, naked, kneeling in front of one of our stereo speakers, trying to suck the tweeter cone* out with the vaccuum cleaner hose attachment.

And you know the really funny part? The tweeter cone was too rigid.

*A tweeter cone is (apparently) the little tiny speaker thingy inside of the big speaker. At least that's what he told me when I had stopped laughing hysterically.