I Am Incongruent

Incongruent (dictionary definition): inappropriate or unsuitable

I do not mesh with the warp and weft of my path in life. I do not fit. I lay on the surface, shimmering like an oil slick, but not mixing with the other constituents of my fate.

Yesterday I had my teeth cleaned. At the end of the appointment as I was waiting for the dentist to come in and “take a look” my dental hygienist asked me where I work. I told her. Looking a little confused she said, “but what do you do there?” I told her that I am an attorney. She looked even more confused. You’re an attorney? She said. The question mark was there, trust me. Yes. I replied.

She was clearly shocked. These questions always embarrass me. I know whenever someone asks me what I do that they expect something along the lines of “wait tables,” “receptionist” or possibly “teach elementary school.” That last one is a stretch though. I just don’t look or sound old enough to be that thing that I am: an A-T-T-O-R-N-E-Y. This doesn’t really bother me except. Except I sometimes believe that I am not enough of…something. Not old enough? That’s not it. Not smart enough? Yeah, maybe a little. Just. Not. Good. Enough. Period.